How being a dog owner taught me to hate dogs

Several years ago, before we had kids, my wife and I made a terrible mistake and decided to adopt a dog.

It was a Labrador retriever, big and yellow, over 100 pounds. We adopted the dog sight-unseen from some friends of friends who were looking to find him a new home. His name was “Bo.” We drove 2 hours to Southwest Iowa to meet Bo’s soon-to-be-former owners, picked up Bo and drove him back to our house.

We don't have any pictures of Bo. This is not the actual dog.

We don't have any pictures of Bo. This is not the actual dog.

I really don’t know what we were thinking. This was back in the days before we had kids and we had no other responsibilities or worries in life. We thought we wanted a Lab. They were the most popular breed in America – known for intelligence, loyalty and athleticism. We had visions of jogging with our dog, walking with our dog, playing fetch off a dock while the dog happily plunged into the frigid lake, again and again.

Unfortunately, we quickly realized that Bo was going to present a bit of a change to our otherwise orderly, happy lifestyle, starting on the first night at our house when he compulsively chewed through all of his toys.

“That’s strange,” I said as Bo chowed down on another stuffed animal. “He sure seems to like chewing!” Little did we realize, until it was too late, that Bo was expressing stress and anxiety by gnawing everything he could get his paws around. Pillows, ropes, frisbees, and stuffed animals all got shredded into an indistinguishable mass.

Bo was a very anxious dog. He was constantly chewing and licking and smacking. I don’t blame him, really. After all, the only owners he’d ever known had just given him away to a couple of strangers. This is one of the things that annoys me about dogs – their neuroses.

Seriously, what’s the point of having a neurotic dog? I thought dogs were supposed to provide emotional comfort to their owners? I thought dogs were supposed to help you feel more peaceful and centered, since they have no awareness of mortality and all that. But most dogs I’ve known have just introduced me to new levels of anxiety.

Bo needed a lot of attention. He needed daily walks. He needed lots of things that we couldn’t give him because we were too busy and self-absorbed. We worked long hours and left him in the house alone all day. We’d let him out to go pee and poop in our tiny urban backyard, but then he’d chase squirrels across the street and get lost and run onto the neighbors’ front porches. We were constantly chasing him around the neighborhood and cursing the fact that our small lot didn’t have a fully-fenced backyard.

We would have given him more attention, but our personalities just weren’t the right fit. He was a friendly dog, but he was overbearing and off-putting, like a guy at a party that you can’t wait to stop talking with. Even though his constantly wagging tail was as powerful and painful as a baseball bat, he was kind of a wuss, really. Whenever we gave a command to “come inside” or “stop destroying the neighbor kid’s toys,” he would slump his shoulders and skulk around and defy us, quietly, in a passive aggressive fashion.

I was so disappointed. I figure, as long as you’re going to have a dog that’s destructive, messy and painful, he might as well be a stronger personality, more of an Alpha Dog, you know? Take my parents’ dog, Milo, for example. He’s a total jerk, but we love him for it. He’s the dog you love to hate.

And he shed EVERYWHERE. All of our clothes, furniture and rugs were soon coated with dog hair. Dog hair blew threw our house like tumbleweeds. We were idiots. We never should have gotten a dog that shed so much. My wife quickly noticed that she was sniffling, sneezing and having sore throats all the time, and we realized that she was allergic to the dog.

Bo was too neurotic to eat dinner in the basement, so we had to move his (HUGE) food and water dish up to our tiny 1920s-era kitchen, where it took up precious floor space. He was too neurotic to eat by himself, so we had to be near him while he ate, or else he wouldn’t eat at all and would later vomit all over the floor. He vomited all over our living room rug and ruined it. We ended up donating it to the animal shelter.

As you might imagine, a 100 pound dog creates a lot of poop. Our yard was soon covered with little piles, scattered about like monuments. I scooped poop as often as the winter weather would permit, but I still couldn’t keep up with the supply. We couldn’t walk him as often as he needed because we were too lazy and couldn’t wake up early enough to walk him before we left for work. (Again – we were idiots. I don’t know what we were thinking. We never should have gotten this dog. Or any dog.)

And whenever we did take him for a walk, it was no fun because he was constantly straining on the leash, wouldn’t listen to instructions, and wouldn’t do what we needed him to do. (My mom has to have rotator cuff surgery because her dog Milo pulled her to the ground during a walk. That’s right – she has a “dog-related injury.” Why do people put themselves through all this dog crap? How desperate are we for companionship?)

It all would have been worth it if we really loved this dog and wanted him in our lives. But the truth was, we just weren’t that into Bo. Eventually we realized that the personal chemistry wasn’t there. So 4 months after we brought Bo home, we decided to take him to the pound and had him euthanized.

No, just kidding – ha ha! We were lousy dog owners, but we’re not monsters.

No seriously – I know that dogs getting put to sleep due to lack of shelter space is a big tragedy, and I don’t mean to make light of it. I was just trying to see if you were still paying attention.

We didn’t have him euthanized. Seriously, I swear. Instead, we found him a new home. With a family in the country that had a pond in the backyard. The father of the family loved to go fishing and hunting, and wanted a dog to go fishing and hunting with. They had 2 young kids who wanted a pet. The whole thing worked out perfectly in the end. Bo happily climbed into the car with his new owner and rode out of our lives, and we were all better off as a result.

My four months of abortive dog ownership taught me several valuable lessons:

  1. I’m not very patient.
  2. I’m too self-absorbed.
  3. I’m not really that interested in or fascinated by dogs. They’re not people, they’re not children, and they don’t deserve the lofty status that American culture has assigned to them. In some ways I’d feel more at home in Muslim countries where dogs are seen as filthy rat-like creatures. I know people love their dogs, and I sometimes enjoy visiting other people’s dogs, and I don’t wish any harm to come to dogs, and I hate cruelty to animals just like any other form of cruelty, but the bottom line is, I don’t love dogs and I don’t want to own a dog ever again.

Unfortunately, now we have kids, and both of our kids love dogs. So it’s probably just a matter of time before we have to get one. It won’t be another Lab, or any other dog that sheds. It would have to be something hypoallergenic, housebroken and easy to live with, that requires no outdoor exercise and minimal involvement on my part.

Ideally, my next dog will be a really smart, hairless cat.

94 comments

  1. You are terrible. And all those commenting here supporting you are horrible. Having a dog was the best decision of my life. Of course, there are bad points to come with having a dog and all the trouble and hassle to go through, but it’s A DOG. it’s a living thing, it needs your love, guidance AND support. You cant just adopt it and expect it to do everything on its own. It’s called responsibility which apparently a man your age has none of. Mind you, I am 15 and i take care of 3 dogs. One of my dogs recently died and I cried a hell lot. The points you made here weren’t relevant. I love taking care of my dog, cleaning their poop, feeding them, bathing them, taking them for walks. It makes me feel happier because I get to connect with it. Sad to say, your poor dog probably didn’t connect well with you because of your behaviour towards it. You think everything was a hassle. Let me guess, if you have a baby you would probably hate it too since it’s troublesome, you have to clean it’s poop, bathe it and even worse, it cries every night. So what you gonna do? give away your baby? There’s no reason writing an irrelevant article like this because the problem here is not with dogs, but with yourself. And the so many others out here who are saying they hate dogs. I’m sorry but dogs probably hate you too. If you actually took the time to become best friends with it, it will be loyal and wont let you down. So shame on you.

  2. Oh my god I sympathize with every word you’ve said. The first dog I’ve ever owned (and still do… *sigh*) Is one that pretty much wandered on to my doorstep. He’s a little b******. He ruins everything.. He destroys everything- especially expensive things. He ruined a grill, dug up and ruined solar lights, he’s ripped apart tools, eaten brooms, he scratches, he chews, he barks all the time. He thinks it’s hilarious to burst past me (he’s quite strong) every time I try to leave for work, and enjoys escaping in the middle of the night when I have to let the cat out. I heard a popping sound one day and ran out in time to catch him ripping the cable from the side of the house. He’s cost more money than I can handle. It’s gotten to the point where I hate him… there is literally nothing I like about this dog anymore… people try to make me feel guilty about hating him but it’s like- what would you do if you were living out Turner & Hooch in REAL LIFE? It’s bloody horrible.

  3. Thanks or this. I dislike dogs. They stink, no matter how much you bathe them. I love my cat. He’s the best. My friend has a minpin that pisses in the house all the time, even though she is taken outside a lot. My friend likes to take that damn dog everywhere. Oh well, I guess some like dogs and some don’t. I don’t.

  4. Love the article and discussions here. I do not like dogs. I hate when people humanize dogs. They do nothing but waste your time and money. If you have a big heart and money, I recommend spending time and mony on those are the ones who need your love and care- your parents, family members, other elders. I can never stand a person gives more of his/her time, care and money to the dogs than to other human beings. A dog will never clean the dishes for you but your parents will. I am 33 years old and I know my parents & family members give me way lot more that a dog can never give me. Dogs don’t do anything but I have to clean their mess and even pamper them? There is no way that dogs deserve the TLC.

  5. You are so lucky – getting rid of your stupid dog in only 4 months! My bf has a dog it is 12 years old and now I have to wait till it dies to live in a normal, hygienic, clean flat. Noone would adopt a 12 year old dog. It is a fucking Labrador also, the saddest creature on Earth. Attention-seeking whore, big sad eyes, crazy amounts of hair everywhere. I hate it from the bottom of my heart. Cats are superior. You can’t even compare.

  6. I’m sorry but I wish I could hug you right now!!! We have two dogs and I HATE them!!! We have spent thousands of dollars on them (kennels, surgery when one was hit by a car, food, treats, toys) and I would’ve felt better about starting a warm cozy fire with that cash then seeing it all get destroyed by our dogs. We have done training , months and months of training and still I can’t get them to listen or to stop jumping on my 2 & 3 year old daughters. The only thing that I have learned is to NEVER get a dog again!!! EVER!! On the brightside they have made me fall deeply in love with my cat!!!

  7. So many things here. First off, I agree that you shouldn’t get a dog for reasons you have listed, such as no time (don’t have a baby- they will be up all night), you think they are expensive (wait til you have a kid- that is WAY more expensive. Clothes, diapers, food, toys, then Christmas, after school programs, never mind healthcare, especially after they break a bone, actually the dog is starting to sound better), you have to walk them or they poop inside (no indoor plumbing for dogs yet), they chew up everything (although a lot of that stuff is replaceable- wait til your child draws on the wall after turning away for one second. Paint is expensive too). Yes, all very good reasons for not having children. I mean dogs.

    Look, I’m not going to call you an idiot (you’ve already done that to yourself), but while you may have thought you had done your research, you had to at least expect to walk it, right? And yes, dogs do get anxiety. Some get disturbed by thunder and lightening. Thunder jackets brand totally has that market covered.

    But I have to say what disturbs me the most is actually your responses to some of the comments made here that don’t necessarily agree with your opinion. You put this article out there for the entire world to read (they don’t call it the World Wide Web for nothin’! [ps I found this on page 1 of a google search. Nice job on traffic routing]), and you seem to get annoyed when someone is “judging” you. You put yourself out there to be judged. Everyone is going to have their own opinions. If you post something, be prepared for anyone to read it and commenting on however they see fit. Otherwise set your blog to private. Or just don’t take things so personally. Think of all those celebrities getting judged on a daily basis-if they had time to go through every comment or be hurt and say to each individual, “thanks for judging the parenting skills of someone you never met,” most would be out of work (except for the Kardashians. They can make money off of anything. I don’t hate though- mainly because I wish I could make money off of anything).

    All in all, you don’t like dogs and I think you could have tried harder. Your opinion and my opinion. I respect that. But I think next time if you don’t want to have people commenting on you blog posts that have a “judgemental tone,” maybe write for your town paper? Less editorials from people with a difference of opinion.

  8. ’m not very patient.
    I’m too self-absorbed.
    I’m not really that interested in or fascinated by dogs.

    Exactly what my soon to be ex dog thaught me….

  9. Thank you for this. I love dogs. But I hate mine. I truly do. I love them, surely, but they are the worst. I supposed every once in a while someone has obnoxious kids. You can educate and make things bearable, sure. They’ll still be obnoxious, though. That’s a long life ahead of me.

  10. Oh Ben, if you didn’t want any negative feedback from we, the dog lovers of the world, you probably shouldn’t haven’t put the article out for all to see. I am so sad for you but take solace in the fact that so many people do love dogs and other pets for all different reasons. Have you ever seen the dogs they take to areas that have been hit by natural disasters? Let’s just hope you never have to deal with any of that unconditional love. LOL. Finishing up, being I just wasted time on this, I will quote Ghandi, ““The greatness of a nation and its moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated.” You can say the same for any man, they say you can also judge a mans true character by the way he treats an animal….

  11. My family got a small annoying dog who refuses to be house trained, wakes me up at 5 am every morning to be fed, barks for hours when I get home from work, gets into the trash, and gnaws on all the furniture despite all the chew toys and bones I buy him. It’s ridiculous. I hate this dog yet somehow I’m always the one who notices when he is sick and takes him to the vet. I wish I could take this dog to the pound (he’s already cost me several thousand dollars in medical bills and home damage) but my family would hate me. I had hope this breed was short lived but they actually live up to 20 years so I know I’m screwed.

  12. Dogs are needy, dependent high maintenance animals bred for labor and shows. People are idiots for expecting then to be stuffed animals. Your experience is pretty typical, you’re just more honest and less sentimental. My niece has a lab she never exercises, the thing is a neurotic attention whore. All that intelligence just makes them extra crazy when they’re not trained and exercised properly.
    The fact is that dogs are not very good pets, especially not for urbanites and children who are too lazy and ignorant to even find out how to properly train them. The only rain they’re considered acceptable pets, despite being large, noisy, destructive and high maintenance, is legacy and sentimental nonsense. I don’t care if you like dogs or not, if you’re a typical American that are objectively a bad pet. Get a cat, for Christ’s sake, because noisy untrained dogs might ‘accidentally’ get poisoned.

  13. The biggest problem I have with dogs is that they just poop and pee everywhere and anywhere they feel like it. They are also scavengers and are always searching for food. They smell horrible. I can see how people that dont mind being sloppy and dirty like them. Nothinb worse than coming home wanting to relax and being greeted by a pile of poop.

  14. Ben Gran, I appreciate your honesty. Dogs are a huge responsibility and EXPENSIVE. You have to pay for food, vet care, training, toys, etc. They require a lot of attention, especially if they are high energy, unsuitable apartment types. Although, not all dogs are the same, even the “low maintenance” lazy dog requires care and attention.

  15. God I totally agree. I love to play with and pet other people’s dogs but owning a dog is a whole other story. Ours is a pitbull mix and wants constant attention. I need my alone time, my space because without it I don’t feel good. Some people love that kind of clinginess but it drives me nuts. And the chewing and destroying. Ugh. I thought I might do way better with a small dog but who knows might be just as bad. Dogs are overrated!

  16. I needed this article. I have been thinking about rehoming my large breed dogs for quite some time but everytime I get the courage, I feel a lot of guilt like I am a bad parent. But the truth is, I can’t stand the dogs anymore, they destroy everything. Our couch, dining tables, bed sheets, you name, they’ve chewed it. I feel so restricted, if I go out, I am constantly worrying about them, will they chew up my shoe, do they need to go outside.. arg the thoughts are endless, you can’t have fun. Everything dog related is SUPER expensive. Training, food, VET bills. I get nothing out of having my dogs. I actually do even get an ego stroke, I feel like a monster because now that I have 2 kids, I dont have time for them and all they hear is “go away”.

    This article finally speaks to my feelings – Dogs (Animals) do not belong in homes. Animals should not be PETS. They belong is the wild. NO other animal on this planet Earth resides with another animal. I can’t own, I prefer to donate my time and money to end all breeding of these engineered animals. Can you believe some people tell you, hey if you don’t like a dog that sheds hair, get another breed. Dogs (at least) these dogs are not natural, they are engineered to possess a personality to fit your personality.. It’s very weird.

  17. I agree, some people are dog people. I am not a pet person in general. I like them, in small doses and not in the home that I live in. They are dirty, they stink, they are needy and why should I feel bad admitting that. I don’t. In fact it’s better to admit what you can and can’t handle versus getting an animal and not treating properly or getting rid of it and abandoning it, like so many well meaning people do. I think certain people have that emotional need for something that adores them unconditionally and that they can lavish attention and affection on, guilt free. It helps them. I simply don’t need that or want it. I’m content. Some people are content with pets, they were a constant source of stress and unhappiness to me, to each his own. Lesson learned.

  18. Yeah, this article is definitely going to get you some of those complaints from those dog crazy “dogs= people” people. But nonetheless I enjoyed seeing this blog. I can’t relate, but I can definitely see how dogs could be a pain for people who can’t devote a minimum of 50% of their time into them. In my opinion the only truly great dog is a dog trained by professionals to the point where you could consider them a work dog. A dog that knows how to do nothing, and be fine with it. The ideal dog is one that only plays when you wish to play, and one that has the ability to respect property as long as I’m at it. I have a dog, great dog, not like the dog I just described but a nice dog nonetheless. I<3 dogs,

  19. Not so sure why people get so hateful when someone admits they don’t like having a dog. Neglecting your dog is wrong. Abusing your dog is evil. But giving away the one you have or refusing to get one after realizing that owning a dog makes you unhappy or that you simply don’t have the time or temperment is the most humane course of action. And shows that you are decent person. So everyone who wants to make mean comments because someone is honest and says they don’t like dogs needs to get a life.

  20. I’m a self-confessed dog-lover and I really respected your article. I appreciate the you owned up to not doing the right breed/temperament research and not having the level of commitment that having a dog requires. I admit I was ready to rant at the euthanasia sentence but calmed a little when you described your effort to find a more appropriate home for your dog.

    I understand that a lot of people just aren’t dog-people, but if your kids are pushing for a dog then there’s plenty you can do to introduce the right canine companion for your family. My Aunt has severe dog allergies and she has always had dogs that are mixed with poodles so they have wool instead of fur and are very low-shedding. Beddlington terriers are also a great hypo-allergenic option. Labradors are one of the worst options to choose if you don’t have plenty of space and are willing to commit to daily walks & runs. (I highly recommend reading Marley & Me, it’s a beautiful story but definitely highlights the drawbacks of neurotic labradors which are more common that you would think!). I’ve always had high-energy dogs but my family has the property to accommodate them and I now have an outdoor profession that allows me to take my dog to work and get plenty of exercise. We also understand the commitment and effort it requires to have a dog and it’s worth it for us. It may not be the case for you so I really hope that you’re able to find an alternative breed that suits your needs.

    I hope one day your family finds the right dog and you’re able to connect with your pup (and appreciate the low maintenance some breeds have)

  21. God bless you for your honesty! I, too, hate my dog. She was barking while I was on the phone with an insurance broker, and I Googled, “I hate my dog” and found your article. Thank you for letting me know I’m not the only American in this position. P.S. I love my cat.

  22. Well said! I was wondering if I am the only one who thinks this way as my family makes me feel like an a** hole when I say that dogs, and pets in general for that matter, are ridiculous! I have kids and love every second of being a father. I hated every second of being a dog owner. Well, not every second but for the most part I question why the heck I want a four legged animal who licks himself constantly and likes to sniff feces wandering around my house. Dogs are great for people who crave for companionship but I just prefer to get mine from humans who can talk, don’t lick themselves, and hate the smell of sh*t!

  23. Dogs are dirty, messy and needy. Time to let them become extinct. It would be a much nicer world without them and other domesticated animals. No more vets, animal food, poop or putting down unwanted animals. Neuter them all and let them become extinct. Time for a world wide ban on domesticated animals.

  24. I don’t know what were thinking. My daughter always wanted a dog, desperately wanted one. My husband said we needed a good watchdog, a friend for our son. I agreed, as long as it could be a littler one, like a beagle, or jack russell terrier, Something like that.
    We went to the shelter and lo and behold, the rest of my family fell in love with and desperately wanted a…treeing walker coonhound/brittany spaniel–over 50 lbs. and a male. I did feel sorry for the dog, I must admit. It was whining the loudest and jumped on all of us and leaped onto a chair near us and was licking us. That should have been part of the warning signs.
    He turned out, when we took him to the vet, to have Lyme disease and WORMS-hookworms to be exact–I was furious–why didn’t the shelter treat his condition? didn’t they know about it? My husband said, we just give him the meds and it’ll clear up. Okay, fine. The shelter said he would calm down, he did, but he is VERY HIGH maintenance. At least four walks a day, slobbers water and food all over. Very messy, very needy, gets up at 6am. wants to walk until 7 am. Then 11-12 or 12:30 pm then again with our daughter at 3:30 to 4-4:30 pm and then the last walk must be 6 pm-7:30 pm. I admit I am getting great exercise, but he WON”T poop in our yard, it MUST be away from our house and I thought…neutered means not marking, right? FOr the first week I nicknamed him the “tree marking coonhound”. This week his nickname is “sniffer” and “messy marvin”. He has had various forms of soft stool and diarrhea since we got him. We are told this is his meds and different food and environment and would clear up in “week or so”. That has yet to happen. The shelter said watch out he plays in the bathtub. Liars! He HATES baths! I insisted to my husband he will have at least one bath a week if not TWO. He is a very dirty dog and though our house is never clean due to coming in through the kitchen entry way and shoes everywhere, it is never clean anymore. He takes food out of his bowl and scatters it everywhere. He won’t keep his paws off people and I get scolded for attempting to teach him to do so. At least my daughter and husband agree about keeping him out of the upstairs with the NEW laminate flooring and off the beds and my mother in law’s upholstered furniture we are storing (if he wrecks it she’ll KILL us!).
    Part of the problem is I am exhausted by 5 pm. I can’t function anymore and I don’t have the energy to even clean my house. I find myself eating more than before–so much for my husband’s reassurance that walking the dog will be good for my figure. I end up eating junk just to stay awake. The only good thing is I drink less coffee and spend less time just “putzing” as my husband says. Sure, but now I can’t even get basic things done. Our son will be attending kindergarten next year, but that is a long five months away and I hate to say it, I much prefer the company of kids to our dog. I write this only in warning. I will not take the dog back. If the meds don’t work, He will die of Lyme disease. Hopf

  25. For people that don’t like stupid, hyper, barking un-trainable dogs- You gotta get a ROTTWEILLER. The best thing I ever did was get a rottweiler. They are the easiest dogs to train, and the most low-maintenance. When I first got my dog, he shat in the house one time on the second day. I told him “no” and he never did it again. He learns tricks in his sleep. They sleep like 15 hours on-and-off all day, but rise to the occasion when you want to take them hiking or on a walk. They are chill and will just go along with whatever you want to do. You can take them anywhere, and you’re friends will forget they’re even there because they’ll just find a spot near you and go to sleep. They barely shed, love kids and other animals. They’re gentle giants when it comes to the family, but will guard the house if need be. Biggest plus about them- their loyalty. They aren’t like those stupid toy/other breeds that go nuts and run away as soon as you crack the door like a damn cat or something. Seriously, one way that you’ll learn to love a dog is getting a rottweiler.

  26. Oh my, just found this after googling ” I hate having a dog”. My partner bought our dog after taking me to the rescue shelter to show me him sitting in his cage looking sorrowful. Well I fell for it and he was brought home. I’d never owned a dog, I’ve 2 grown up sons and never wanted one before but my partner had. I took an instant dislike to this yappy, peeing animal who is treat like a baby by my partner. The dog can do no wrong, I have had screaming , crying, tantrums begging him to take the dog away and it falls on deaf ears. I am the one left looking after him day after day as I work from home, he disrupts my work by barking and scratching for attention, I have to keep stopping work every hour to let him out for pees otherwise he cocks his leg and right at this moment he’s had to be let out for the fourth time in an hour and all he’s doing is barking!! I’m going mental. My OH is out for the evening and I’m left again with him. Never again will I ever own a dog!!

  27. THANK YOU!!!! I have a Yorkie who when I first found him in the middle of the street fell in love with insantly as he was SOOO adorable. We tried to find the owners but NEVER did so we kept him. BIG MISTAKE! 2 & a half years later I feel like I’ve lost my mind. He pees EVERYWHERE in my house, whether we’re watching him or not. (and to the person who said it takes 10 mins a day to train, HA try 25/8) He’s VERY spiteful! When hes outside and I don’t let him in when coming to the door he walks over to the door lifts his leg and pisses on it EVERYTIME! Tried to teach him to pee on a pee pad thinking that’d help. He just shreds them! Barks CONSTANTLY giving us a headache, and breaks out of his kennel anytime we leave him alone for a minute. Also is CONSTANTNLY breaking out of my yard. Houdini had NOTHING on my yorkie! He’s also very neurotic biting, licking and smacking his paws a LOT! The only reason I haven’t gotten rid of him yet is because my son begged me not to. At the moment I feel like I either need to sign up for a weeks stay in a white padded room in a looney bin, or bring him to a rescue place for yorkies. I will NEVER own this breed of dog again!! Thank you for letting me know I’m NOT the only one out there being driven insane by their dog!!

  28. I can understand your sentiment. I used love dogs. Until I had to live with someone else’s dogs. They are constantly barking at anything that spuds like a door closing, or pretty much anything that makes noise. Thier owner dotes on them and is with her all the time. They follow her everywhere and even wait at the toilet door. Now, I know that many people suck at dog training, and an even larger number don’t even bother, but people need to realise that dogs aren’t born domesticated, and they absolutely need training. There’s nothing worse than hearing the response; “but they’re dogs, it’s thier nature to bark”. That’s just a load of BS! Of course it’s thier nature, but it’s up to humans to provide the training to domesticate them. A lot of of dog owners are completely ignorant and just full of themselves.

  29. Thank you so much for this. I recently moved in with my boyfriend who has two small dogs. I figured “What is the big deal? I loved dogs as a kid!” I. Was. Wrong.

    Yes, they are cute… when you walk by them on the sidewalk. But our entire lives revolve around them. His work schedule, events we will go to, people we will meet up with, vacations, and on and on and on. The first question is always about the dogs.

    And what do they give? They poop! That is all he talks about. They poop, they bark, they lick. Whoop-de-doo. There is so much to enjoy in the world, bending over and picking up shit is not how I want to spend my life.

  30. Thank you for this article. My husband and I just adopted a young Shiba Inu and she sounds very much like the Lab you adopted! We’re learning so much about ourselves including that we aren’t very patient and not very happy having her around! We thought we wanted a dog for about a year now but now we’re not sure. We’re started working with a trainer because we want to give her a real chance but honestly, we may just give in and call our time together a good life lesson. Perhaps she needs a home with a backyard where she can run around and release so much of her energy/anxiety.

  31. This made me feel a little better. I am a CAT lover. I have four of them, and they all make me super happy, 100% of the time. I dont even mind cleaning their boxes. At least the poop and piss is in one area!
    I have a rat terrier also. Just one dog, and im going insane. We have had him since december, and I decided to get him for my boyfriend. Our previous dog had been lost to us. Now, im not exactly sure why i wanted another one. T

  32. This article made me feel a little better. I had a dog a year ago maybe, a rotttweiler. she was literally the sweetest thing, and also very obedient. I did love her, but i also hated her. Long story short, she was lost to us, and i decided to get another dog for my boyfriend, whom i live with. IDK what i was thinking! I hate this dog more than any Ive ever known! He is submissive as hell, and will pee on the floor if he is scared. Then when he feel cornered hell try and bite. I dont like this shit! I feel like a horrible person for wanting to give up on him, but being this unhappy about a dog just makes me feel icky. He listens pretty good, he just gets so fucking scared and cowers and pisses everywhere. in a trail. a trail of shameful piss. I think I should take him back to the pound and let him find a new home, where hopefully someone will love him and take care of him better. I dont even want to pet this dog, I hate him so much. I dont want to walk him, or feed him or anything. I let my bf do all of that.
    Im not a bad person… I have four cats and love them all to death, have no problem caring for them on the daily, and giving them attention and love. Its just this dog!
    Thanks for the article, again, it made me feel a little better.

  33. also, to you haters of dog haters, seriously. no one is perfect. maybe you tried owning a cat, and decided it wasnt for you. im not gonna ridicule you for making a mistake, even tho i am THE cat advocate. dont put people down, chances are they already feel bad, and KNOW that they fucked up. People are not as heartless as you(the ridiculer) seem to be.

  34. This article is great. People humanize dogs to an extreme point where they’re just allowed anywhere, even in restaurants where they can beg for food. It’s disgusting. They’re also super needy and irritating, I hate going over to people’s homes and finding a dog just craving my attention, when my point of being there is to spend time with a friend or help with an occasion.

  35. I just read this and only wanted to say – Thank God I’m not alone in this sentiment. I had almost the exact same experience, except we got a tibetan terrier puppy. I thought it would be great! – It was absolutely horrifyingly horrible. I had a baby at the same time and had to wake up for the both of them. I could not be able to teach it where to poop and it peed on the floor constantly! At times I literaly felt like picking the poor cute puppy up and throwing it out the window!
    I didn’t though. We gave it away. She’s happy now.
    Me too.

  36. I agree with your blog post completely. I have absolutely zero interest in owning a 4 legged furry animal of any kind. I own tropical fish and I’ve always enjoyed fish as pets and they will be the only pets I will ever have. I don’t mind cleaning a fish tank, but I would DEFINITELY mind cleaning up after a 4 legged creature. I’d rather spend my time with humans; my own species. I’m quite proud to have been raised in a pet-free home (except for tropical fish) and I wouldn’t even think of imposing pets onto my kids. Animals are unpredictable and they don’t “adopt” other animals the way that humans adopt pets. I will never ever own a dog, cat, hamster, gerbil, or any 4 legged/furry animal for all of the reasons you stated in your blog. Your children are better for it because they don’t have to have their time with their parents interrupted because of having to take care of an animal.

  37. I grew up with dogs my whole life, loved them. I married a fellow dog lover who also grew up with them his whole life. After having our daughter and knowing we didn’t want any more children, we thought a dog would be a great companion for her. We brought home an 8 week old puppy when our daughter was 3. After our daughter and dog were best friends for around 7 months, the dog snapped. She started showing (completely unprovoked) aggression towards only my daughter so naturally the dog had to go before something really bad happened. Now my husband and I have a strong dislike and distrust towards dogs and will never own another, ever. There are 4 other family-owned dogs that are constantly around my daughter (and niece/nephew) and so far only 1 (1!!) has not shown any form of aggression towards one of the children. Dogs belong outside and need an occupation… They should not be domesticated! Back in the day, if a dog became aggressive it would be put down by the owner. These days, people make too many excuses for them and turn a blind eye to their wrong doing. Some dog owners are just as bad as the dogs they own!

  38. Ben,
    I totally agree with you on the Pit Bull comment. Pit Bulls are genetically selected and bred to fight and kill animals the same hight as themselves. Children and smaller dogs are constantly at risk around these dogs, and I agree with you that it is irresponsible and a form of grown-up “oppositional defiance disorder” to willfully put others in your community at risk simply because you have something to prove with your “misunderstood breed”. I’m not a dog-hater, per se- I like sheep dogs, sled dogs, cattle dogs-any dog with a job that lives outside and stays outside, but I’m so with you on the idea that we North Americans are morons when it comes to our pets and the whole “my pet is my child” nonsense that we perpetuate. I also find it amazingly ironic that on the whole, the dog-loving, 200-dollar-a-bag food-buying, my-pet-is-my-child, animal rights activist crowd thinks nothing of the fact that their feces-eating little darling has a higher quality of life than the majority of children on this planet.
    And to anyone who has the absolute gall to say: “you’re a bad parent because you don’t like dogs” I say: “you are quite possibly a much worse parent for being delusional, judgemental, and culturally myopic”.

  39. Thank you. Honesty. Love visiting dogs. But do not want any more. Ever. Cat. Yes. Cat. One. We have 5 sons. And one dog. We used to have several dogs. God no more.

  40. Thank goodness I’m not the only one. Yes, it breaks my heart to see a Sarah McLachlan commercial, I’ve even cried before… I see an animal need help, I do help (I climbed in a drainage pipe to save baby ducks before, I put out warm containers for the wild, scared, cold cats in winter, etc), but once their in my home, I’m miserable. I cannot live with an animal happily. They cause me great anxiety.

  41. I too began to hate dogs after I got one that destroyed my and place my prescription glasses. She caused thousands of dollars worth of damage in just a week. I could not wait to take her back to the shelter and they didn’t want to take her back. Dogs are needy selfish jerks that manipulate people into doing what ever they want them to do by begging or destroying things. The whole world has to revolve around them all the time.

  42. This is hilarious, mostly because my boyfriend has a lab/pit mix that is slowly starting to crawl under my skin. I love dogs, but I guess I love them in the same sort of way that you love other people’s pets (or children!) until you have to take care of them and you realize exactly what you signed up for. My boyfriend’s dog is just as neurotic and anxious. He’s a rescue dog so of course he gets away with everything because my boyfriend feels bad about his past life. Now he’s just a brat; manipulative and always needs attention to the point of placing himself between the two of us during a conversation or barking and barking until we stop talking. I really f*cking hate the barking. And the way he just can’t settle if you don’t acknowledge him so he shoves his head under your hand as a passive way of petting him. And then he barks at lights, or people, anddddd I realize I’m just too introverted for this type of dog.

    He’s the polar opposite of my pug. Pugs are the absolute best, minus the dog-shedding, which is a fair trade for what awesome, low-maintenance, QUIET companions they are. They snore though but it’s so damn adorable, I don’t even care.

  43. Wow, thank you for this! I feel so guilty, but I can not stand my dog! If it weren’t for my kids, especially my daughter who loves the dog and would be heartbroken imwould put a free sign on her in the front yard. Like you we envisioned this perfect world where we would walk her, play with her, and take her on hikes and to play in the creeks. She is a lab, and hates water! She is neurotic, she chews the baseboards and walls when she is nervous which is all the time. She has pica. So she eats and consumes literally everything. She swallows toys and bones whole and pukes them up. Outside she eats rocks and sticks. I don’t know what to do. I can’t leave her alone for 2 minutes, or I will come back in the room and she is eating a wire or a video game. She eats bedding and towels so she sleeps in a wire kennel with no bedding. It looks uncomfortable, but what can I do? She destroyed her plastic kennels, she hoards garbage and buries random stuff in her kennel and in the couch. She digs holes all over my yard, and destroyed the pretty bleeding hearts in my flower garden. Poop is everywhere, She sheds all over my furniture and clothes, she is overbearing and anxious all the time. If you pet her she nips and rubs all over you and licks constantly. I wanted a dog I could walk, would be able to relax with, and would be a part of the family. She is just a nuisance and I hate her. I fight the urge to smack her, I get so angry. I wish I would have gotten another cat.

  44. Good to know I’m not alone. I bought my Huskimo (Husky, American Eskimo mix) about 4 months ago. I absolutely hate the dog. We have him gated off in our kitchen because he pees on the living room carpet. He has jumped up on my 3 year old and scratched about an inch from his eyeball. When we let him out to pee, he immediately wants to come back inside. He gets a running start and plows into my glass slider over and over again until we let him in. The dog is a complete moron. He begs for food constantly even though he eats twice a day and gets treats throughout the day. He sheds so bad it makes me sick! Im constantly walking around my house with lint rollers. Today I caught him eating his own poop! I’m working on getting rid of him, but no one seems to be interested. I think I’ll stick to cats.