Have you ever wondered how stand-up comedians get themselves “in shape” for their shows? Just like running a marathon or competing in an Olympic trial, performing stand-up comedy requires you to be in peak condition and at the pinnacle of your mental sharpness.
Here are a few of the methods that Ben Gran is using to get ready for his stand-up comedy show on March 9 at the Des Moines Social Club:
- Watching hours of Ted Koppel footage to emulate his delivery and hairstyle.
- Increasing alcohol intake from 6 drinks per day to 7.
- Stopping dozens of strangers on the street one-at-a-time and offering to do anything – and I mean ANYTHING – to make them laugh.
- Going through military boot camp to prepare for the experience of public humiliation, chastening and fear.
- Teaching at a public high school to practice dealing with hecklers.
- Recreational drugs.
- Asking women out on dates to get reacquainted with feelings of rejection and shame.
- Isolating self from any external humorous influences by serving 8 weeks as a Mormon missionary.
- Gleaning withering one-liners and “zingers” from the collected speeches of Mitt Romney.
- Memorizing thousands of jokes from the bubbling cauldron of subversive comic genius that is Michael Feldman’s “Whad’ya Know?”
- Making people laugh uproariously by saying to them, “I’m doing a stand-up comedy show. Want to buy tickets?”
- Getting in the mood for “funny” by reading the complete works of L. Ron Hubbard.
- Taking cold showers, fully clothed, to simulate the feeling of being drenched in gallons of flop sweat.
- Watching The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. Because that guy is FUNNY and can do NO WRONG.